I have done some pretty dumb things but when it came to boys … DAMN!!!
My first crush was a train reck!! i honestly have to say i got pshyco on him, poor guy! hehe
His name was Alberto.. It was a normal crush at first, i didnt let him know i liked him, and he was really nice to me, we talked , made jokes we were good friends, untill i went psyco on the poor guy!! It started on 6th or 7th grade, i dont remember well. He is the reason i “ran away from home” … My friend was throwing a party and he said he would go.. My mom said i could go as long as i stayed at her house and we didnt go walking around san juan… Well after a while when he didnt show up we first went everywhere looking for him and we were told that he was at “la perla” so thats where we went, but we didnt find him so we went back to the house, thats when my friends grandmother told us that my mom had called while we were out, when i called her back she went bonkers and told me she was gonna pick me up early, i pleaded and pleaded cause i still had hope that my crush would show up!! So i sat there listening to cristian castro and it was sooo sad!! i cried so much cause i was sure he would show up!! So my mom picked me up and took me home and she went back to work.
I then came up with the plan to run away, but i didnt want to scare anyone.. so i left a note. I had to go by the restaurant to i called my mom and told her i wanted to go out walking just in case someone saw me walking and told her, so i proseeded with my plan on running away, when in truth i was just going back to the party.
Then not even halfway i hear my dads car horn….
I get in the car and i am told that my brother found the note!!! DAMN!! I got such a speech!!
In case you are wondering my crush never arrived at the party, so all for nothing!!
Then i did something that to this day i dont know why i did it!!
One day as i was listening to music i got an idea… I broke off the antenna of the radio and i drew a heart the size of my fist on the outside of my right ankle… And i got the sharp end of the antenna and started to scrape it along my skin.. i scraped till i drew blood , i remember it hurt but i was surprised that it didnt hurt as bad as i thought it would , i wanted it to be like a tatoo so i did it pretty deep, i showed my friend and she asked me to do it to her, so one day after school i did it to her, i remember that while i was doing it to her my crush passed by us and she called to him and told him i had done one to myself and that it was in his name!!! STUPID!!! He just walked away without saying a word.. but i can only guess what went through his mind at that moment!! my friend then gave me the idea to make it into a tatoo.. so we broke a pen and brushed it against our skin, but THANK GOD when i let it heal the ink came off with the scabs. I also remember that i also scraped a few lines on my arm , like 3 or 4 small lines i remember my mom asking me what had happened and i told her i had scrapped myself with our school chairs… what a bad excuse!!! haha After that i didnt do it again.
I later lost interest in him because in 8th grade i started crushing on another guy his name was antonio he had such a cute butt!! hehehe He was in 9th grade while i was in 8th grade.. he gave me strange signals cause i was told he liked me but when i went up to him he ignored me, but then he would come to me and ask if he could call me.. he would play volleyball after school and i would always go watch him play and he would start to show off when he saw me there… UNTIL…..
One day as im with my mom in the car waiting for the school bell to ring a group of kids walked by the car and thats when i saw him… what i noticed first were his green eyes… they put me in a trance!!
His name was Angello but everyone called him esnicker as in snicker the chocolate bar.. he later told me it was because he used to sell snicker bars. But i remember thinking it was because girls were drawn to him like a chocolate bar!! hehe corny huh But he was a charmer!
we started dating and it was awesome cause he used to come over after school to mine and we would sit in the bleachers while the volleyball game was going on, and it felt good cause antonio would stare at us all the time! And thats when i became popular for dating the cutest guy ever!! haha
Our first kiss…. oh my! my dad had come to pick me up and as i was saying goodbye he asked me for a kiss… i was going for a peck but he grabbed me and sucked on my mouth as if it were a jello shot!! It was sooo slobbery . And thats not the worst part… when i got in the car my dad said i hope thats your boyfriend!! I almost died!!! he told me my mom would die if she knew this , so he wouldnt tell her . You see my mom always knew that he was selling drugs, but i said otherwise because when i asked him (yes i asked him and i believed him ) he said no. thats why my mom didnt want me seeing him.
When i graduated 9th grade and went to another school we lost contact till about 11th grade, by then he had a few kids that he dennied, and he was seeing some girl in my friends school but i didnt care i liked him. One day i called him and asked him to come over to my friends house, and when he came over we started making out ( he was better at it.. and so was i 
hehe ) we went into the bathroom and things got a little too intense so i backed off.. first because i was scared it would hurt and second because i knew he had been with soooooo many girls i didnt want to catch anything he had . He called me a few times after that but i didnt answer his calls, i knew if we kept seeing each other it would come to that again, and i really wasnt interested in sex at the time, just making out.
to be continued…………..
